How to Plan Your Life: Lecture 1 – Between Order and Chaos
No Neutrality: Vision Is Inescapable
“You can either live out your vision or someone else’s. There’s no no-vision option.”
- You’re always governed by something — either a conscious vision or unconscious impulse.
- The danger lies not in being governed, but in being governed by the wrong thing.
- To avoid ruin — for yourself and those around you — it is essential to develop a mature vision.
Vision + Plan = Theory + Practice
- A vision is a broad theory.
- A plan is a narrow and focused vision, an implementation.
- The goal: conceptualize a broad vision, then narrow it down into actionable steps.
The Daoist Model: Chaos and Order
- Your experience is made of order (known) and chaos (unknown).
- Represented in the Daoist symbol (yin-yang):
- White serpent (masculine) = Order
- Black serpent (feminine) = Chaos
Key Insight:
“In the things you don’t understand is all the potential of the world.”
- Chaos = Potential for growth and transformation
- Order = Stability and predictability
- Living well means balancing both — stability with the potential for growth
Stance Toward the Unknown
- You can fear the unknown (paralysis), or welcome it (transformation).
- Tyrants cling 100% to what they know; but doing so sacrifices evolution.
“If your life isn’t perfect, a little more transformation might be a good thing.”
Meaning Emerges on the Edge
- The border between chaos and order is where optimal learning occurs.
- This is where you feel meaning — a signal of positive transformation.
“You’re best situated when you have one foot in the known and the other in the unknown.”
Example:
- Music is meaningful because it’s structured (order) yet unpredictable (chaos).
- A meaningful life mirrors this balance.
Practical Territory: Physical and Metaphysical
- Animals fear unfamiliar territory — but humans also have conceptual territories.
- The edge of what you know — where you’re just starting to understand something — is where the instinct of curiosity kicks in.
“Interest is the instinct that drives you to learn.”
Beware Nihilism
- Some claim life is meaningless — but meaning feels real when you’re learning and transforming.
- That feeling of engaged meaning is evidence that you’re evolving.
Transform the Mundane
“Your life is mostly made of things you repeat. If you fix 20 of them, your whole life is different.”
- Pay attention to the small, daily rituals — meals, transitions, bedtime.
- Make those moments better through play, attention, and iteration.
- Meaning is not in rare events — it’s in what repeats.
Small Steps Lead to Acceleration
- Shrink the task until you’re willing to do it.
- Allow yourself to begin as a fool — poorly, slowly, even embarrassingly.
“The fool is the precursor to the savior.” — Carl Jung
Relationship Dynamics & Targeted Reward
- When improving relationships:
- Negotiate small, voluntary changes
- Acknowledge small improvements with specific praise
- Encourage slow, genuine progress
- Recognize how often small interactions repeat — and master them playfully.
Career Planning: From Paralysis to Action
“Start where you are. Even a single resume sent is better than zero.”
- Clean up your past (your CV, your narrative)
- Break fear into manageable steps
- Be honest about why you’re stuck
- Create a routine for small wins
Progress Is Nonlinear (The Matthew Principle)
“To those who have, more will be given. From those who have nothing, everything will be taken.”
- Progress compounds — success builds on success
- Excellence in a small job can open bigger doors
- You must market your value — even quiet excellence must be made visible
Reward Schedules & Communication
- Know how often you need recognition
- Teach your partner/family how to affirm you — be specific
- Reward is better than punishment when it comes to personal and relational growth
Summary: What to Do
- Create a vision for your life
- Narrow it into a plan that’s implementable
- Balance chaos and order in everything
- Start small with transformation
- Prioritize what repeats in your life
- Be playful, not tyrannical
- Reward growth, in yourself and others
“You’re not doomed to slow just because you start slow.”