The Human Experience

The Emotional Systems and Their Role in Our Lives

“Emotions are subjective, but you have brain systems devoted to them.”

Humans are biologically attuned to two emotional systems: the positive emotional system, which moves us toward our goals, and the negative emotional system, which alerts us to obstacles or unexpected disruptions. These systems are deeply ancient, existing far back in evolutionary history.

At the core of emotion lies a basic pattern: approach or avoidance.
Even simple organisms, like amoebas, respond to what’s good or noxious.

This primordial response underpins the emotional architecture of humans and explains why half of our brain processes negative emotions and reflexes.

The Rabbit Hole: Confronting the Unexpected

The phrase “down the rabbit hole” symbolizes our descent into the unknown—situations that break our expectations. In Alice in Wonderland, the Red Queen declares:

“You have to run as fast as you can just to stay in the same place.”

This metaphor embodies Mother Nature—the relentless force of existence that pushes us toward growth and adaptation.

When unexpected challenges occur:

Curiosity and fear exist simultaneously.
The “zone of optimal development” occurs when we stand on the edge of what terrifies us.
By voluntarily facing the unknown, our apprehension decreases and our curiosity grows.

This process mirrors psychotherapy: gradually exposing ourselves to fear until it becomes manageable.

The Hero’s Transformation: Dragons and Treasure

The concept of confronting the unknown is symbolized in myths like battling the dragon to claim the treasure.

To face a “dragon” (fear, challenge, trauma), we must integrate two forces:

The aggression to wield the sword.
The care to hold the shield.

This journey transforms us into the type of person capable of continual advancement in the face of life’s challenges.
It represents a universal moral striving:

“To confront the transforming horizon of potential, to become better for the future, and to uplift those around you.”

This quest pattern exists across cultures, myths, and experiences. It leads to meaning—a force far more significant than happiness or hedonic gratification.

Meaning as a Weapon Against Suffering

In existential thought, meaning becomes the sword and shield that enables us to contend with life’s suffering.
Unlike material success or satiation, meaning provides engagement that propels us forward:

It requires an alignment of emotions, actions, and goals.
This is the existential adventure—the pursuit of continual self-expansion and development.

“If you deepen that meaning, it fortifies you against the worst life can throw at you.”

The Existential Problem: Thrownness

Existentialist philosopher Blaise Pascal describes life’s arbitrariness:

“When I consider the brief span of my life, swallowed up in eternity… I am afraid, and wonder to see myself here rather than there.”

This realization, called thrownness, confronts us with unsettling questions:

Why am I here, now?
Why this life, in these conditions?

This existential conundrum leads to profound self-exploration. To face it voluntarily is the heroic descent into the abyss:

Down the rabbit hole.
Through doubt and darkness.
Towards radical transformation.

Confronting the Abyss and Emerging Stronger

In stories like Dante’s Inferno or the hero’s journey, facing the abyss is portrayed as a baptism by fire. It’s the process of:

Voluntarily descending into chaos (confronting doubt, suffering, or trauma).
Reconfiguring your aim based on what you find.
Reemerging with new strength and direction.

This cycle—descent, transformation, and resurrection—repeats throughout life. The key moral rule is:

“Never substitute success in a narrow frame for upward-seeking transformation.”

Rogerian Therapy: Integration Through Listening

Carl Rogers’ therapeutic principles emphasize the need for congruence—harmony within ourselves and with others. Rogers believed:

Anxiety stems from internal incongruity: conflicting motivations and unresolved fears.
Resolving disharmony requires listening and negotiation, both with oneself and others.

Steps for Effective Communication:

Listen fully to the other person without judgment.
Summarize their viewpoint accurately and to their satisfaction.
Once understood, respond with your thoughts.

This process builds trust, reduces misunderstanding, and fosters personal growth.

“If I can understand how it seems to you, I can release potent forces of change within you.”

This principle applies to relationships, psychotherapy, and personal growth.

The Walled Garden of Play

The ultimate goal of resolving conflict and achieving harmony is to create an environment of play—a fragile state where experimentation and growth occur.

Play signals that all other motivational states (fear, hunger, anger) are resolved.
In relationships, play symbolizes trust, listening, and adventure.

“If play is occurring in your house, it means you’ve optimized the environment.”

This idea applies to families, friendships, and even broader communities. Through communication, courage, and integration, we build a foundation that allows us to face suffering and pursue meaningful lives.

Conclusion: Confront Life Voluntarily

The human experience, as explored through existentialism, psychotherapy, and mythology, boils down to this:

Face the unknown voluntarily—the dragons, the abyss, the rabbit hole.
Seek upward transformation instead of narrow success.
Communicate courageously with yourself and others to resolve disharmony.
Build relationships and communities rooted in honesty and cooperation.

By doing so, we align ourselves with a universal pattern of growth, meaning, and adventure—transforming not only ourselves but those around us.

“God walks with you to the degree that you voluntarily confront mortality and malevolence.”